I Will Wait For You


Immeasurable Spirit. 
Indubitable Source. 
Takes me to places
That have no existence
In time space reality.

A willing heart is all that it takes,
For me to plunge to unknown depths, 
And re-enter across timeless shores.

The call of the wild. 
Mysteries untold that beckon,
Whilst they enchant.

I am a lover of this no-space. 
I will follow it and abide in it
For all of eternity.

Come with me across this unchartered land.
Together, we will soar to heights
Unimaginable,
But hinted at by the dreaming mind.

Will you take my hand, my friend?
I am weary of travelling alone.
I will wait for you in the soft folds of my heart.
I will wait for you with my head cushioned by sweet grace.
I will wait for you in the dark night of my soul.
You will know me by the beckoning light in my hand.


- Nicola G. Karesh, Copyright © 2010 – All rights reserved.

I like when I slip into awareness, God’s loving arms, and there is no thought about technique, or having to solve any problems. There is a simple bringing myself to the doorway, so to speak, in innocence and the purest desire for Oneness. Letting go of all matters that Source does not attend to. Surrendering myself to feeling, to being. In this space, there is such power and possibility... Brilliance and light.

One of the most magical times in the day, is when I first wake up. Everything feels fresh and new. There is a gentle ease and softness that surrounds me. There is a sweetness that is present with no necessary linking connection. Sometimes a deep enveloping silence greets me. Other times, a distant bird song, or the lulling calm of my breath.

In this space, it feels like my heart beat swells and expands. There is no clear starting or ending point. The feeling just is and I open to the magic of it. I feel like I am lying in an invisible cradle. Imperceptibly swaying from side to side in a cushion of peace.

From this perspective, the world is dusted with a vibration of love and beauty. What I am is perfectly mirrored and reflected back to me.

Three blackbirds singing and flying in synchronistic harmony out there. Alignment in their every move. They perform a beautifully orchestrated dance amidst the trees and the cloudy sky.

Source’s default setting is light. I can imagine a gigantic beam that scans and finds the treasure of goodness that resides in each of us. Bypassing all else and steadily concentrating on even that tiniest spark that will inevitably blossom and grow with attention.

With every creation that I encounter in the day, I can turn my searchlight on. Illuminating, appreciating and magnifying all of the goodness that I discover.

And so it is.

(This journal entry was written December 9, 2009)

Dreaming of Home…

(Written November 2, 2009)

In my dream last night, I was taken away from my home and all that was familiar. This theme of finding myself on unfamiliar ground has happened repeatedly in the past. Feeling lost with a strong desire to get back home. Often through complicated mazes, underground tunnels or strange lands.

Last night, I was spirited away by an odd woman who was surrounded by equally strange people. Nobody would listen or help me to get away. No one had a phone or money that I could borrow to make a call.

I believe that there were a couple of times when I woke up and knew that I was dreaming. I knew that I was home with my family. Going back to sleep though and wanting resolution and a happy ending in my dream.

Back in the dream state, I had the thought that I didn’t have to subject myself to all of these ordeals. I could simply “spirit” myself back home with my loved ones. It was a dream after all.

There is a parallel for me in life, when I have encountered limitations. Areas where I feel stuck or hampered. A feeling of “I can’t.” There is often the accompanying knowledge that this is a self-imposed prison. There is the intellectual knowing that I am much bigger than these perceived limits. Yet, for the time being, I continue to scurry around feeling helpless and trapped. There is the awareness that it does not have to be this way.

Last night, there was a moment when I began viewing the dream from two viewpoints. One was lost and searching and the other, wise and detached.

From the higher vantage point, there was almost a sense that the lost wanderer could be picked up, like a game piece, and magically placed home. There was the feeling though of not wanting to rescue the lost one, but to allow them to find their own way back.

From the other viewpoint, there again was the realisation that I was dreaming and could put myself on “home base” if I chose and end the struggle / the illusion. Yet, a wanting to figure it out for some reason.

So, an energy of loving kindness patiently waiting on the sidelines for the “little me” to discover her way back home.

That touches me on so many levels. Gives me perspective of how I can be with my children when they need to uncover answers for themselves. I don’t have to do it for them. I can be a loving, guiding force for them as they find their own truth. Find their own way in the world.

Also sheds light on my perceived relationship with God. There is a loving guiding force, as I am gifted the freedom to find my way home.

This also shows me how I can be with myself when I am muddling around in the dark. To shine a compassionate, patient and loving light to guide me gently home.

Precious breath drawn this morning. Taking in the soft cooing sounds from a mourning dove. I am with you in spirit to greet the day. God's blessings and we are here again to celebrate anew. A whole day before us. What gifts will it bring? How will we honour and cherish each rising second? How will we pass on and share the rich bounty we are presented with? Questions fade and nothing remains but loving silence. Our loving gift to each other is to breathe it in with great appreciation and then lovingly extend this sweet energy outwards.

Blessed be this day.

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Love’s Inner Chamber by Nicola G. Karesh

I enter the inner chamber and close the door. Immediately, there is the delightful impression that love’s happy cells rush to surround and greet me! Brings a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. God’s energy bubbles are doing the happy dance ‘cos I’m here!

There may or may not be actual happy bubbles sent out on a mission from God to welcome me! All I can speak to, is the feeling that I have as I rest in silence.
There is an energetic acknowledgment of sorts. Awareness greeting itself. Comfortable warmth, being somewhere that feels like home. Everything is alright in this space. All concerns are left at the door, for that is not why I am here.

Why am I here? Why have I come this very day, to sit in silence?

Words escape me, as I search to capture the essence of what fills my heart. Still, I seek the elusive, for I feel called always to share my truth.

I am here to give thanks. I am here as an expression of my love and devotion. I am here in answer to an inner call to come home. I belong here.

Every moment when I have turned my back on God, I deny myself. Every time I come from a small sense of “i,” I am denying the larger dimension of who and what I am.

This divine space calls me. Sometimes I get busy with other matters and don’t hear the eternal bell that rings for you and for me. It is always ringing. In precious moments of grace, I hear and I answer love’s call.

One day, we will sing a song of love together. One day, the feeling of love will touch everything. It will be all that we know. It will be all that we are.

That day is here and that moment is now. The choice is ours to rest in this space.

 

Nicola G. Karesh, Copyright © 2009 – All rights reserved.

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Tender The Moment

A memory encapsulated in time.
A portrait framed with desire.
A love sealed with a kiss.
Soft, tender the moment.

Delicate petals unfold their ivory innocence.
Caressed by the golden rays of the sun.
Dew drops glisten shyly.
Held by arching blades of grass.

Fresh scent of pine needles bursting.
Fill the morning air.
Pure, sweet the feeling.
Rising up everywhere.

My soul is blessed with goodness.
God’s grace fills my heart.
Soft, tender the moment
Blossoming wildly in the dark.

~ Nicola G. Karesh, Copyright © 2009 – All rights reserved.

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Song Of Silence

My soul is longing to sing
And dance
With carefree,
Wild
Abandon.
Longing to pour its heart out
With a melody
Soft and true.
Longing to soar
And claim
Unknown heights.
Dizzy.
Breathlessly awaiting
An unseen partner
To rise up
And share the music
Playing silently
In my heart

Nicola G. Karesh, Copyright © 2009 – All rights reserved.

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This morning, I was drawn to an entry that I wrote last year, called “Devotion.” I was drawn to the feeling that my conversation with God is always a heartfelt experience of peace. That feels like the sweetest of promises to me and in this moment, it is such a welcome treasure. When I choose God’s will for me in any moment, I instantly open to an answer that is peace and an everlasting love that stretches beyond the bounds of my imagination.

Love and our capacity to choose however we experience, is at the forefront of my mind today. The fact that our existence on this earth is temporary and we never know when our time here is up, offers me perspective on how I can be. Using my precious days wisely as if they were my last ones. Sinking deeply into each gifted moment and really relishing the treasure of my life. Cherishing each divine soul that I encounter on my spiritual path, seeing myself mirrored back in countless ways. Blessing and acknowledging the power of this reflected gaze. Feeling the sweet and sometimes fierce grace that the Creator offers and knowing that every aspect is here to serve and bring me closer to home. Every second of "now" serves me with an unspoken gift to bring me home.

An excerpt from Adyashanti's book "The End of Your World: uncensored straight talk on the nature of enlightenement," comes to mind. It is beautiful, direct and simple in its message:

"It is very important to know that life itself is often our greatest teacher. Life is full of grace - sometimes it's wonderful grace, beautiful grace, moments of bliss and happiness and joy, and sometimes it's fierce grace, like illness, losing a job, losing someone we love, or a divorce. Some people make the greatest leaps in their consciousness when addiction has them on their knees, for example, and they find themselves reaching out for a different way of being. Life itself has a tremendous capacity to show us truth, to wake us up. And yet, many of us avoid this thing called life, even as it is attempting to wake us up.

The divine itself is life in motion. The divine is using the situations of our lives to accomplish its own awakening, and many times it takes the difficult situations to wake us up.

The irony is that most human beings spend their lives avoiding painful situations. Not that we are successful, but we are always trying to avoid pain. We have an unconscious belief that our greatest growth in consciousness and awareness comes through beautiful moments. We may, indeed, make great leaps in consciousness through beautiful moments, but I'd say that most people make their greatest leaps in consciousness in the difficult times.

This is something a lot of people don't want to acknowledge - that our greatest difficulties, suffering, and pain are a form of fierce grace. They are potent and important components of our awakening, if we're ready for them. If we're ready to turn and face them, we can see and receive the gifts that they have to offer - even if the gifts sometimes feel like they are being forced upon us. Whether the circumstance is illness, the death of a loved one, divorce, addiction, problems at work - it's important to face our life situations in order to see the inherent gifts that are available."

This week, our family received an unexpected curve ball from the Universe. No dodging or way to outrun what is before us. For me, there really is only one obvious choice these days, when life stands before you. Meet its gaze. Dive right in and experience fully what life has presented. Struggling and resistance prolong the inevitability of what is to be. No matter how things may seem, somewhere buried inside, there is value. Even the fierce grace is to be allowed and appreciated. In the lesson before us, there is the distant and beckoning glimmer of truth, freedom, sincerity and the courage to be real.