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anniversary
October 2009 
Celebrating Sixteen Years...
Posted on Jun 27th, 2008
by 
Nicola
Nicola
Today, I am celebrating 16 years of marriage to my husband, Marshall...
Here are a few things that I anchor in writing from my trip down memory lane...
1) 1989, looking over at this incredibly cute "artsy" guy wearing the coolest jacket, sporting snake skin leather boots, a diamond earring and my heart skipped a beat! I was at a 12 - step meeting and I remembered thinking that cute as he may be, I'm not messing with him! Looked like he was nursing some wounds. Many months later we connected at the Village Inn (or Village Idiot as he would say!) and the rest is history...
2) Dancing at the night clubs when we were dating and having loads of fun. Writing me flirtatious notes at the bar counter of Tracks / El Goya in Ybor City (one of my many nightly haunts).
3) The gift of his cat, Goose (aka Bhuddha, Midnight, Zeus, Pinky, Pinkerton, little Boo) who became a delight in my life for about 16 years. Wildly fierce at times, but a sweet, loving and loyal companion. Hey, that sounds a lot like Marshall!
4) When we were dating, he took a "break" from our relationship. I was devastated, envisioning his never coming back, dating other women. Crying. Crying and more crying! Then he told me that he was taking the time to discover if I was "the one!" The joy in my heart when I realised that far from thinking of splitting up, he was contemplating a future! Happy day!
5) Meeting my parents... I remember a wonderful time when we drove down to Miami and met up with my parents who were over from Jamaica. Incredible time at the Cafe Cheveron for dinner.
Marshall doing it up right. Talking in private with my father on the verandah in Jamaica and asking permission for my hand in marriage. Promising my dad to keep me in the manner of which I was accustomed to. My dad died a happy man, knowing that I was with someone he respected and who he trusted would care for me.
6) More practical in nature, it's refreshing when Marshall goes the extra mile and stretches! I remember a wonderful treasure hunt that he sent me on which ended in me finding him at the Colonnade restaurant in Tampa. We enjoyed the best dinner including those wonderful conch fritters that I love!
This is an entry from our honeymoon journal:
"I was worrying last night and tonight about how we would lug all our stuff from the car to the boat to wherever and back again. Typical of me! Marshall told me to quit agonising about petty details, and if necessary, we'd strap it all on my back!"
Needless to say, I no longer worry about details! I know somebody else has that covered!
7) Such an incredible support for me when my father died. I truly thought I was going crazy and it definitely felt like I was emotionally going backwards. He was a constant in that stormy time.
8) A therapist said that we were so different that we would have our work cut out for us in our marriage. Undaunted, we began an adventure of a lifetime. Never a dull moment. Spirituality was and is the common thread that binds us.
We gift each other with completely different perspectives. When we are open to it, it is like fresh air coming in the window. Marshall provides necessary grounding for the dreamer in me.
We are both interested in growth, open to melding the old ways and creating a new reality for our family. I love our late night talks over the years about all kinds of good spiritual stuff!
9) Our wedding day was the best party ever! The reception was held at historical University of Tampa where I went to school from '79 - '83. Memories of him in the ceremoney stomping hard and breaking the glass in the traditional Jewish tradition. His uncle Steve coming up and sharing powerful words of what this symbolised...
10) When we first moved in together, he wanted his stuff all over the walls of our first house. I was so mad, wondering why couldn't he just let me do what I wanted and butt out of the household affairs?! You can feel my maturity level back then!
He has stayed remarkably consistent over the years, popping up when I least expect it, to challenge the status quo. Aaarrghh! Really a perfect compliment for me, but I don't always appreciate it in the moment!
11) I admire his strength. He doesn't allow me to step all over him. He is strong in himself, but flexible. More like bamboo - able to yield and bend, but still resilient and strong.
12) Stepping up always at significant crossroads in our relationship. His willingness to go to therapy, to do whatever it takes actually, when we were on rocky ground. We learned mirroring and really listening to each other. I began to appreciate the many "sacrifices" he made for our relationship... our happiness. He began to care about what I valued. To respect and honour my desires, even though they were different from his own.
13) Marshall started to follow through on what he learned. I would get unexpected gifts of flowers and cards letting me know that he was thinking about me. He actually started to enjoy the flowers himself!
14) Family and passing on his legacy is important. After a miscarriage, I realised that I did not really want children. I prepared myself for the possibility of divorce over this crucial decision. He surprised me by saying that as long as we were happy, that was enough. Years later, I surprised him by open my heart to more love coming into our lives... choosing to have children. The shops closed now though! Two is plenty!
15) I love his willingness to see something in a new light. This was so true with regards to our choosing not to circumcise ( a really tough choice, especially for a man who is Jewish), believing in me and my desire to home-school our children, many conversations related to Jesus, God and spirituality.
16) I appreciate his kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness. He has taught me quite a bit in this department. He always thinks of me, our children and our family and how to make things better, easier... His desire is simply for us to have a nice time together as a family.
Remembering our incredible 2 week road trip on our honeymoon from Tampa, Florida up to Maine. Just the best adventure! We both wrote in a journal during that trip that we read from every so many anniversaries. Tonight will be one of those times again...
I am feeling thankful for sixteen incredibly rich and colourful years. Looking forward to many more with this man who is a gift. Planning to enjoy each delightful moment today, appreciating all that we are and all that we have now. I love how we challenge / inspire each other continually upward and forward to our next best step as individuals and as a couple.
Two songs come to mind when I think of Marshall, myself and our marriage:
Barry White's song, My First, My Last, My Everything. I wrote out the words for this song and gifted Marshall for one of our anniversaires. This song always brings tears to my eyes and makes my heart swell with emotion. This live version with Pavoratti is incredible!
The other is so diametrically opposite! Words that come to mind here... wild, energy, earthy, campy and some of the lyrics,
"I set my sights on you"
"You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round"
"open up your loving arms and watch out here I come"
Fits the feeling of my energy for today!
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - by Dead or Alive
the campier version, live in Japan
You Spin Me Round - Dead or Alive concierto en Japón
Down memory lane...
Here are a few things that I anchor in writing from my trip down memory lane...
1) 1989, looking over at this incredibly cute "artsy" guy wearing the coolest jacket, sporting snake skin leather boots, a diamond earring and my heart skipped a beat! I was at a 12 - step meeting and I remembered thinking that cute as he may be, I'm not messing with him! Looked like he was nursing some wounds. Many months later we connected at the Village Inn (or Village Idiot as he would say!) and the rest is history...
2) Dancing at the night clubs when we were dating and having loads of fun. Writing me flirtatious notes at the bar counter of Tracks / El Goya in Ybor City (one of my many nightly haunts).
3) The gift of his cat, Goose (aka Bhuddha, Midnight, Zeus, Pinky, Pinkerton, little Boo) who became a delight in my life for about 16 years. Wildly fierce at times, but a sweet, loving and loyal companion. Hey, that sounds a lot like Marshall!
4) When we were dating, he took a "break" from our relationship. I was devastated, envisioning his never coming back, dating other women. Crying. Crying and more crying! Then he told me that he was taking the time to discover if I was "the one!" The joy in my heart when I realised that far from thinking of splitting up, he was contemplating a future! Happy day!
5) Meeting my parents... I remember a wonderful time when we drove down to Miami and met up with my parents who were over from Jamaica. Incredible time at the Cafe Cheveron for dinner.
Marshall doing it up right. Talking in private with my father on the verandah in Jamaica and asking permission for my hand in marriage. Promising my dad to keep me in the manner of which I was accustomed to. My dad died a happy man, knowing that I was with someone he respected and who he trusted would care for me.
6) More practical in nature, it's refreshing when Marshall goes the extra mile and stretches! I remember a wonderful treasure hunt that he sent me on which ended in me finding him at the Colonnade restaurant in Tampa. We enjoyed the best dinner including those wonderful conch fritters that I love!
This is an entry from our honeymoon journal:
"I was worrying last night and tonight about how we would lug all our stuff from the car to the boat to wherever and back again. Typical of me! Marshall told me to quit agonising about petty details, and if necessary, we'd strap it all on my back!"
Needless to say, I no longer worry about details! I know somebody else has that covered!
7) Such an incredible support for me when my father died. I truly thought I was going crazy and it definitely felt like I was emotionally going backwards. He was a constant in that stormy time.
8) A therapist said that we were so different that we would have our work cut out for us in our marriage. Undaunted, we began an adventure of a lifetime. Never a dull moment. Spirituality was and is the common thread that binds us.
We gift each other with completely different perspectives. When we are open to it, it is like fresh air coming in the window. Marshall provides necessary grounding for the dreamer in me.
We are both interested in growth, open to melding the old ways and creating a new reality for our family. I love our late night talks over the years about all kinds of good spiritual stuff!
9) Our wedding day was the best party ever! The reception was held at historical University of Tampa where I went to school from '79 - '83. Memories of him in the ceremoney stomping hard and breaking the glass in the traditional Jewish tradition. His uncle Steve coming up and sharing powerful words of what this symbolised...
10) When we first moved in together, he wanted his stuff all over the walls of our first house. I was so mad, wondering why couldn't he just let me do what I wanted and butt out of the household affairs?! You can feel my maturity level back then!
He has stayed remarkably consistent over the years, popping up when I least expect it, to challenge the status quo. Aaarrghh! Really a perfect compliment for me, but I don't always appreciate it in the moment!
11) I admire his strength. He doesn't allow me to step all over him. He is strong in himself, but flexible. More like bamboo - able to yield and bend, but still resilient and strong.
12) Stepping up always at significant crossroads in our relationship. His willingness to go to therapy, to do whatever it takes actually, when we were on rocky ground. We learned mirroring and really listening to each other. I began to appreciate the many "sacrifices" he made for our relationship... our happiness. He began to care about what I valued. To respect and honour my desires, even though they were different from his own.
13) Marshall started to follow through on what he learned. I would get unexpected gifts of flowers and cards letting me know that he was thinking about me. He actually started to enjoy the flowers himself!
14) Family and passing on his legacy is important. After a miscarriage, I realised that I did not really want children. I prepared myself for the possibility of divorce over this crucial decision. He surprised me by saying that as long as we were happy, that was enough. Years later, I surprised him by open my heart to more love coming into our lives... choosing to have children. The shops closed now though! Two is plenty!
15) I love his willingness to see something in a new light. This was so true with regards to our choosing not to circumcise ( a really tough choice, especially for a man who is Jewish), believing in me and my desire to home-school our children, many conversations related to Jesus, God and spirituality.
16) I appreciate his kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness. He has taught me quite a bit in this department. He always thinks of me, our children and our family and how to make things better, easier... His desire is simply for us to have a nice time together as a family.
Remembering our incredible 2 week road trip on our honeymoon from Tampa, Florida up to Maine. Just the best adventure! We both wrote in a journal during that trip that we read from every so many anniversaries. Tonight will be one of those times again...
I am feeling thankful for sixteen incredibly rich and colourful years. Looking forward to many more with this man who is a gift. Planning to enjoy each delightful moment today, appreciating all that we are and all that we have now. I love how we challenge / inspire each other continually upward and forward to our next best step as individuals and as a couple.
Two songs come to mind when I think of Marshall, myself and our marriage:
Barry White's song, My First, My Last, My Everything. I wrote out the words for this song and gifted Marshall for one of our anniversaires. This song always brings tears to my eyes and makes my heart swell with emotion. This live version with Pavoratti is incredible!
The other is so diametrically opposite! Words that come to mind here... wild, energy, earthy, campy and some of the lyrics,
"I set my sights on you"
"You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round"
"open up your loving arms and watch out here I come"
Fits the feeling of my energy for today!
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - by Dead or Alive
the campier version, live in Japan
You Spin Me Round - Dead or Alive concierto en Japón
Access: Public
Congratulations dear Nicola for you and your husband's very wonderful and special anniversary day. I love reading your memories and it brought smile to my face. I wish you both all the happiness, wealth and welness for the whole family for many more years to come.
your friend,
Samme
Thanks Samme! It's been a spectacular day! I am so glad that you got to go down an enjoyable memory lane with me!
Be well,
Nicola
Congratulations, Nicola. This was a beautiful read, going down memory lane with you and your beloved. It sounds as if you are very blessed with this man, and I already know that he is blessed to have you. Wishing you many, many more anniversaries and time for such gorgeous reflection.
Love, Ayla
Thank you Ayla! I'll have to tell you about the new treasure hunt that he sent me on this time! Always amazing me, this incredible man! We are blessed to have each other. Thanks for going down memory lane with me!